Ecstasy

Dear Diary,

My neighbour straightened my hair...

TELL MY I'M BEAUTIFUL!!! TELL ME!!!

and/or tell my what 70s band member I look like. That is also adequetly flattering.

posted by Murray @ 10:33 PM 4 comments

Today's the day

My mom popped by around 8:30, handed me the phone, and told me the future of alderan was at stake (or something like that, I dunno) if I didn't clean the phone if joanne (the real estate agent) phoned saying she was bringing people by.

I woke up again around nine, got some pants and some tea, packed some apples, oranges, granola bars and yogurt cups, and started biking outside. Got down to pipers, decided it was too freaking cold for a swim, and turned around.

My back tire was mostly flat, but that didn't seem to be causing any problems. on another note, my front tire is in good condition, and my back one has all the treads worn off. Maybe I should switch those.

Stopped at the pub, got a grilled cheddar and bacon sandwich and a paralyzer, and sat eating and reading that book of jasmines for about half an hour. Good food, good drink, and good book. The company was nice, too. It was quiet, just a sweetheart behind the bar quitely chatting to her mum on the phone about nothing much.

Got back on my bike, thought about heading down to pipers, and wussed out. Started biking back, and saw a power pole with about a thousand ants crawling all over the bottom. They had red heads, black buts, and red and black middle-sections. I don't know why they were so enthused about a power pole, but It must have been great, whatever it was.

Got home, pumped my bike tire up, had a yogurt cup and an apple, and got on here to listen to dropkick murphys whilst reading. And lo, it was merry.

posted by Murray @ 12:37 PM 2 comments

Also for Jess

Dropkick Murphys - The Dirty Glass
The touching tale of the love shared by an underage drinker and a bartender.

The woman
The boy
his friends
everybody

Murphy, Murphy, darling dear
I long for you now night and day
Your pain was my pleasure, your sorrow my joy
I feel now I've lost you to health and good cheer
Darcy, when I met you I was five years too young
A boy beyond his age, or so I'd tell someone
Anyone who'd listen and a few who couldn't care
Still I welcomed you with open arms, my love I did share

[Chorus]
Darcy, Darcy darling dear,
You left me dying, crying there
In whiskey, gin, and pints of beer
I fell for you my darling dear

You shut me off and you showed me the door
But you always came crawling back begging me for more
I showed you kindness, a stool, and a tab
Then you poured me my pain in a dirty glass
(Yeah, you left him bloody, battered, penniless, and poor)
You know, I often stopped and wondered how you made it through my door
With my brother's new non-duplicate registry ID
Well you bit off more than you could chew the first day you met me.

[Chorus]

You weren't the first to court me mister you won't be the last
Oh, I'm sure I wasn't honey, I know all about your past
Listen to the big shot with his pager on call
You spent most of those nights in my bathroom stall
(Yeah, you got him high, but you left him low)
Mind your own business, boy, how was I to know
That he was just a fiend and a no-good cheat
Well it's all in the past bitch 'cause now I've got it beat.

[Chorus]
[Chorus]

posted by Murray @ 9:00 AM 0 comments

For Jess

I woke up, grabbed my things, and ran off to the bus. When I got to school, I got an omlette, hashbrowns, and toast. Ate the first two with ketchup, saved the last one. I ate, went off to chem, and pretended to take notes for 45 minutes of class. It was naming organic compounds, fascinating a learning experience as usual. went to the library, fucked around for a half hour. saw nic, did some matrix algebra pretest. And lo, it was good. went to matrix algebra. Did some math. Did some more math. Understood some math. It felt nice. Nic skipped out and went home for the day, giddy as anyone could imagine. The whole class, something was whistling in the wall behind me. It was weird.

Went to the library, screwed around some more. Made Andrew's comp work better, then made it play games for a long time. Sadly, I was slain by a water demon. But hey, it happens. That's life.

I just saw someone petting some cash. weirdos. only I can do that, that sensually. Otherwise it's just weird.

The movie I am watching (ghosts of mars) is freaky. freaky good.

The song I was listening to earlier, dirty glass (by dropkick murphys) is also good.

ghosts of mars finally got into the mindless shooting of hoards of monsters phase. yay! It's basically an army of zombie-goths on mars, lead by an evil fat marilyn manson parody, vs cops&robbers.

that's all to report, commander.

posted by Murray @ 8:29 PM 0 comments

welcome to my life

when I was a young lad, my gunny said to me-- wait, that's not me. this is me:

suck it, bitches!

After scaling, more than half the class still failed the engineering mechanics test. I got 80.6%. I'll do the makeup test next friday, and I can't say it's a great mark, but somehow, the marks of all those around me make up for it.

I'm so easy to please. 90 in calc and 78 in chem, btw. I'm thinking high 90s in matrix algebra.

posted by Murray @ 1:10 PM 1 comments

for andrew

here's an update on my life:

-watched some hot-ass clown porn. There was this mime on a tv, and for some reason they held the tv up to the girls ass so he could spank her. That's high quality special effects! *asphyxiated moaning*

-studied for midterm today, did a bunch of assignments. turns out I have a midterm tomorrow, too.

-found a purpose in life: to say "now that's stupid fresh!" more often.

-went bowling on st. paddy's, had the requisite green beer. fun was had by all, and I'm not much worse bowling left handed. That says nothing good about my bowling right-handed.

-my summer plans are still working at shaw, presumably. applied for uvic summer courses, we'll see how that works out. if I get accepted, I may go down to vic instead for the summer, going to school part time and working part time.

-classes are going well... music is currently "always look on the bright side of life", and I've been listening to a lot of dropkick murphys lately.

posted by Murray @ 10:46 AM 1 comments

I /.

porn-filters are getting better and better, but they still aren't good. Is mic's david porn? are breast exam pages porn? are farm midgets in tobasco sauce porn? most porn filters can't decide. At some point, if the tech is to succeed, the computer will have to decide what is arousing and what is not. I predict this will be awesome, as we will all be forced to masturbate to circuit diagrams. I know I'm not the only one looking forward to this day.

now, I know you all need something inspirational, to get you through the days. don't worry, we're here for you.

oh, and something else for andrew.

posted by Murray @ 10:19 AM 0 comments

Dear Diary,

today, I recalled old amusing events, waxed nostalgically, and got warm cuddly beloved stuffed animal feelings, and not from a stuffed animal. I also got to throw some pennies at kenny without nonverbal retaliation, although, unfortunetly, I never got him in the nipple. Maybe tomorrow buddy, maybe tomorrow.

in other news, I'd like a copy of windows xp corporate/professional, and I wish so many people didn't use for windows. (to paraphrase) It's not that windows has bad design. It just doesn't have any design.

posted by Murray @ 10:54 PM 0 comments

aww

isn't this sweet?

posted by Murray @ 4:13 PM 0 comments

this had to happen eventually

when people on the internet talk about blogs, they usually either rant and rave about how blogging will cure herpes and enlighten the lazy masses, or they claim it's just a bunch of wankers posting pictures of their cats. On that note...



Look at the kitty. he has to wear a gigantic bandage, because he has a large hole in his leg. A bloody, large hole. He also has diabetes. I want you to focus on that for a moment. This kitty is wrapped in a bandage half the size of himself, and he'll need to carefully monitor his blood sugar while injecting himself with insulin for the rest of his life. Isn't that sad? Does that make you sad? If yes, great.

Now focus on that sadness, how it's all over a poor kitty. Take all the sadness you normally alot for yourself, and give it to the kitty. Next, take all the sadness you usually direct towards everyone you know, and give it to the kitty. Those kids on tv in starvation situations, with the stomaches bloated with hunger? they don't deserve your sadness, the kitty does. Make sure all your negative emotions are directed to the kitty, and away from everything else.

Now, if this experiment was successful, you don't have any sadness left for anything else. Be happy now, because you aren't a kitty who has to monitor his blood sugar, and be happy that those around you aren't. No matter what else is going on, be happy over this one thing.

Also, if possible, notice how happy he looks, even with his unfortunate plight. This is because he's out in the sun and has a full stomach, and that's enough for him.

Okay? Thanks.

posted by Murray @ 11:14 AM 0 comments

I have made a new standard which all of my further blog posts must meet. It is subtle, yet adds a level of artistic merit to my posts which may have at one point been lacking. You see?

I had some good sandwiches today, and some good dropkick murphys. also, some good iced tea. Finally, a use for an entire box of free crappy tasting black tea. make it really strong, cool a huge jug of it, add honey and lemon juice, and it becomes delicious.

In further food news, I only have two fifths of an apple pie left. It is a large pie, perhaps twice the surface area of a regular pie, but it is also quite thin, so I am concerned about the future of my pie-eating career. Pie is very important to a succesful professional thinker, you know. Especially with a soft flaky crust of the sort I am presently enjoying, with whipped cream on top and just a bit of cinnamon and oh, so good... I may literally be lactating in excitment.

posted by Murray @ 5:26 PM 0 comments

let the sunlight in

positive vibes is still an awesomely happy song.

andrew, dear andrew, good work with being happy. the world appreciates it.

I found a blank cd. I suppose I should give it to the lost and found, but I'm pretty sure if I do, it'll just be left in the bin for months then thrown out. is it better to take what is not yours, when you know it would otherwise be wasted? or to figuratively toss it in the trash, maintaining my integrety in a way that won't benefit anyone?

It's too early in the year to do scholarship applications, so the 20-odd applications I was looking at earlier will have to be delayed, until I get my transcripts for this year.

I'm not totally healthy, but it seems like I'm never going to be, so I guess I'll just call this Good Enough. I'll start handing out resumes soon-ish. and andrew, I like the layout of your resume, so I'm copying it. bwa...ha...ha. yay for unoriginality.

posted by Murray @ 11:55 AM 0 comments

this week in the news

toni is going to cowtown in two weeks, when she finishes her semester. It's so sad, she's going off to live with the cows and the dumb angry rednecks who are related to me... but there's good news. she's mailing me buffalo jerky, and some gum, when she gets there. thanks toni! :)

jasmine is playing kingdom of loathing, and it's my fault. It's better than neopets, at least. still, there is a burden upon my soul for giving her further ammo for her giant life-draining time-wasting machine.

in monkey news:


and finally, I've been having a nice life, I suppose. It's kinda boring at times, but it's mostly really, really, really, really nice. I hope that was enough word repetition to convey how happy I basically am with the state of my personal world.

love you all,
non-fatman jim

posted by Murray @ 7:05 PM 0 comments

so yeah, I'm making sandwiches. with peanut butter. skippy the squirrel peanut butter. skippy is grasping his left nut, with his legs crossed, and he looks way, way too happy. like a eunuch not currently going through a bout of eunuch depression.

now, for the bread. cheap-ass multigrain, toasted.

fuck you mr. toaster. burning the edges of my bread, like the ass of an appliance you are. why can't we all just get along? why?

now, for the filling. mmmm, that's good. am big chunk of toblerone, smashed up, placed between the peanut butter and the toast, then microwaved for 30 seconds so it's all hot and gooey in my mouth.

ooh, and what is that smell? it smells goooood.

Macintosh.

remember everybody, blogs are just the written form of masturbation, and this is just the logical extreme.mmm yeah.

update: jasmine, someday this could be yours.

posted by Murray @ 10:28 AM 2 comments