Ecstasy

what I'm gonna do

this post is a general update on my life.

school is going well. A in english, A in comp sci, A or B in calculus and chemistry, and we haven't gotten anything graded yet, but you could say that I have an A in elec, since my group is so far ahead of the others.

social/sex/relationship: null. nada. ziltch.

physical health: still a bit chubby in the waist. not really working on that. I'm eating fairly well, much better than this time last year. I fart way too much. that's the price I pay for so much fiber, I guess.

mental health: s'alright. nothing is really wrong, and while I'm non-ecstatic, I am also in no way depressed. closer and closer to attaining nirvana.

I'm gonna do some situps after this post, for the sake of said chub factor.

oh, and my cat is doing well. diabetes is still there, but he's in no real danger from it, so long as he keeps getting his morning insulin shot. he seems happy, although he'd like more attention. he's on my chest now, so I'll pet him for a while.

okay, he's done being petted for a while. I will now dispense some deep wisdom.

a few years ago, I read something about dolphin sex. on the internet, of course. I'm not sure where. I wanna say slashdot, but I'm not sure. anyhow, yes, you too can have sex with dolphins. here's what you need to know:

• the blowhole is not a lovehole.
• the lovehole is not exactly where it would be on a dolphin-shaped human.
• I forget where it is, but it's not right between the legs. duh.

• you can penetrate a dolphin, but don't let them penetrate you. a dolphin penis is something like 20 inches long, very muscular, and capable of independant movement, like a monkey tail. only more penis-ee.
  
• that thing I read recommended methods for dolphin sex, described the mechanics, but I'm sure if you want to use this information you can look it up somewhere on your own. you sick bastard.
  
• I love the internet. it has so, so much random awesome information like that.

speaking of things I read on slashdot, here's another inspirational story:

I was reading an article on slashdot. it was probably about a new linux distro or some new doodad with wires and blinky lights. something geeky, y'know. anyhow, I read a few of the -1 comments. for those not in the know, slashdot comments are moderated. -1 comments are comments rated as low as can be. they either contain something incredibly disturbing, something that makes no sense in a non-funny way (ie "jibber jabber" - " " for a story not about mister T.)
anyhow, it was a story someone wrote, about a shared masturbatory moment, as a child I think, with someone named 'old man mcgee' or something. old man something, anyway. it took place behind a shed, I think. I was too young to find it disturbing, btw. I wasn't at the age yet where I worried about things like "is this information unsuitable for a youth?". I hope I never reach such an age. Censoring things, especially messed up things, from children, isn't right. don't show it to them, but if they can find it on their own, they can read it. the whole thing was written in a southern accent. I read this at a tender young age when masturbation and porn were strange new ideas to me. I wonder if reading that had a profound affect on me in my formative years. hope not.

isn't that nice?

remember, you can not un-read things.

posted by Murray @ 10:07 PM